We’re moving. At this point, we aren’t quite sure where, but we’re definitely moving. Boxes are being packed, excess clutter is being donated, our things are being consolidated. It’s a very stressful time. Not only for the adults involved, who are combing through home listings, researching schools, calculating drive time from work and friends… but it’s also stressful for any children involved. I know that my child can sense our stress. He knows we’re moving, we’ve talked about it many times. I do my best to reassure him that things will be wonderful when we finally own a house of our own, but to him, this is a very scary change. And my poor kidlet has been through a lot of change in the past few years. One might say, “well, you should be used to it by now,” but that’s not really true, is it? We never truly get used to change. We might adapt to it, we might learn from it and become more resilient and flexible. But I wouldn’t say that we get “used to it”. It’s easy to forget, in these times that are stressful for parents, that our children might be stressed too. Oftentimes, my child tends to whine or lash out when he is feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Sometimes, on days when I become too overwhelmed myself, I forget that this behavior comes from a place of fear and stress and I get frustrated. Of course, this is absolutely counterproductive, so we have come up with a family transition ritual. As always, we make this ritual as elaborate or as simple as we feel. Family Ritual for Accepting and Welcoming Change
Supplies Rose Quartz for each family member Candle for each family member Amethyst for each family member Paper for each family member Crayons, pencils, or any writing utensil Parental supervision highly recommended. Before we begin , I explain to my family that the rose quartz represents our love for each other and that the amethyst, which can often be used for various types of protection, represents the protection that we, as a family, offer each other.
Bright Blessings, Rowan
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The topic for today’s post is a bit of an odd one, yet really important. This took me a whole lot longer to write then I thought it would. I hope I have put together a good read for you. “Why its important to share your beliefs with your children.” Confidence Security Closeness Understanding These are all great reasons, but the best one is that our beliefs are important to us and so are our children. Even better you’ve already done it. Children are always watching and observing. For me, my beliefs come out when I bake and entertain and when I point things out as we bike ride or hike. Now lets talk about these four ideas I mentioned earlier: CONFIDENCE: I believe that my children are more confident in themselves and how they deal with others because they see their father and I demonstrating our beliefs. For instance, my kids LOVE going to church with their grandma. She’s presbyterian and we aren’t. Sure they come home with questions and ideas, so we’ve made a little ritual of talking with them afterwards. (Could be hours or days) they ask their questions and we do our best to answer them or help them find their own answer. My son (who is now 10) has the confidence to have religious discussions with his friends and understand that they both have different beliefs. SECURITY: Lets face it this is the largest worry for most of us. (Especially if your in a hostile location) is our children’s safety and our own. Kids say things and sometimes its in a non friendly place. If we don’t teach our kids because of fear. Then we tie beliefs and religion to fear and teach them that ours is wrong. That doesn’t make it easier, in fact this is the hardest one to deal with. CLOSENESS: One of the basic things that brings us close to our family is participating in similar rituals or ideas. Setting the table for dinner, playing a game together, bedtime stories. Anything and everything that we do in the same space with each other helps us understand one another. That understanding will bring us closer together. That closeness will help us in those tough days and years when parents can’t understand just what their child is thinking. UNDERSTANDING: I hope that by starting my kids with my beliefs, helping them explore my parents and friends beliefs and their own curiosity; will make them stronger and more understanding when choosing their own. Even more, I hope that it helps then be more tolerant and understanding of others beliefs and that together this tolerance will build a stronger, kinder world for them. But mostly, I hope it helps us ALL get through those teen years with healthier views of what my kids are trying. That it also shows my kids that even though they might try something I don’t know about, I hope they will believe that I am willing to listen, give them benefit of the doubt and believe in them and their choices. T.S. I am writing this blog post, not on the first day of spring, but before it. But let me tell you, today is the perfect day to be writing this. My windows are open for the first time in months, the sun is filling my kitchen with light, I can smell the thawing of the earth. I’ve never been one to consider myself affected by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but this winter has been a rough one, on many levels, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that being shut indoors hasn’t affected me. I haven’t felt this relaxed, refreshed, and invigorated since fall. It’s been a long hibernation. The more you read my blog, the more you will find that I swing between possibly overly ritualistic and the extremely simple when it comes to celebrations and rituals. My mood and energy level are the determining factor. And, truly, I believe that is a really good way to go about it. This year, I’m feeling that we need to keep our family ritual short and sweet. We’ll celebrate Ostara in a larger ritual with my Circle as well later that day. Simple Family Ostara Ritual I promised you a simple ritual/celebration, and I will deliver! This activity can be made to be as elaborate or as laid back as you choose! Supplies Cookie Dough (of your choice, store bought or home made) Spring Cookie Cutters (optional) Cookie Decorations Oven **Parental Supervision is Recommended ** Instructions:
Sometimes, if I’m feeling really creative, we’ll look up photos online, typically using Pinterest, just to inspire us (and sometimes, to remind us what Spring looks like). Relax and enjoy the return of Spring! Bright Blessings, Rowan I grew up in a haunted house. And not the type of haunted house where the translucent person in old-timey garb floated around with a blank look in their eye ala Hollywood. Oh no, in this house, the feeling you got from venturing into the basement made your skin crawl and your hair stand on end. Things moved, lights turned on, and often there was a feeling of unease. Maybe, later on down the road, I’ll share more of my ghost stories with you, but this is a parenting blog and my point is that, while growing up, my “bumps in the night” were definitely more than “the house settling.” When I was a little girl and afraid of the dark, my parents would ask me what I was afraid of. I would typically answer “ghosts” or “monsters” and sometimes even “I don’t know, but something.” To which they would respond “there’s no such thing.” But I knew there was such a thing. I could see them, I could feel them, they were real. Hearing my parents say that they didn’t exist didn’t make me feel more confident in the dark, it only made me lose confidence that they could protect me in the dark. After all, if they didn’t believe or couldn’t see the “things” in my room, how could they make sure they didn’t “get” me? If a child believes they can see and feel a monster or ghost, what does it do to a child’s feelings when we tell them “there’s no such thing?” I’m not a child psychologist, but I remember how it felt to be told this. I can imagine that being told “there is no such thing” when you truly believe that something terrible exists, could cause you to feel helpless, belittled, and possibly make you start second guessing yourself or your guardians. My child is currently in a huge “afraid of the dark phase” and some nights, I understand why a parent might want to tell their child that there is no such thing. But I believe that empowerment is so important. I have a few tricks up my sleeve:
Visualization of Home Protection Let’s be honest, sometimes as adults, even we are afraid of things that “go bump in the night.” On nights like that, I often use this visualization myself. No props are needed, unless you’d like them, and the whole family can participate. As always, make this yours, feel free to omit certain symbols and add your own! We start by cuddling or holding hands. We close our eyes and I start to say to my child: “Picture a golden, glowing circle all around our house and yard. Picture a beautiful gold star in that circle, forming a pentacle (omit if you don’t use this symbolism in your practice). Now picture a bright golden light coming up from the circle, it’s creating a gigantic bubble of protection around the house. It’s going up, up, and up, until it reaches the top and comes together. Let’s picture the same thing happening underneath the house, the bubble is going through the earth and all around our basement, until it meets in the middle. Now, let’s send our energy, strong protection energy into that wall, that bubble around the house. Think about only letting love in and keeping anything that would want to harm us out.” And we focus, we squeeze each other tight or we squeeze our hands together. “Take a minute to think about our wonderful protective bubble. Picture a monster trying to get in our house, but he can’t! He keeps bouncing off of the bubble! (I typically get giggles here) Look at him just bouncing off! Oh, here comes another one! He bounces too!” From here on, we are typically rolling around laughing while we picture all kinds of ghouls and zombies and goblins bouncing off of our bubble. It works, every time. Bright Blessings and Monster-less Nights to you, Rowan Sugar Mandalas Years ago I had the pleasure of seeing a group of Tibetan monks create a sand mandala of healing for the city of Detroit. It was so beautiful and inspired this simple version to do with your kids. You can learn more about Mandalas here: http://www.mandalaproject.org/What/Index.html And as winter begins to release its hold on the earth it's a great time to try it out! I love making mandalas, and you can make them as easy or complex as you want, depending on your mood. Traditionally, they are made with colored sands, however, I never seem to have any sand when I think of the project. Since I always have sugar, we have started coloring some white sugar with food coloring and it’s worked wonderfully! What you will need: A cookie sheet with a rim Piece of tinfoil or paper that fits in on the cookie sheet Marker Food Coloring (however many colors you want to use. I like to have at least 3) Sugar (start with a cup, but the amount will vary depending on the size of the design and its complexity.) Toothpick or skewer to mix with Bowls (one for each color you intend to use) Directions:
Now that you have a cookie sheet full of sugar, you can do whatever feels right for you with it. Here are some options: Bake something with it! Your baked goods might have a different hue than they normally do, but now they’ll be infused with all of your creative and loving energy (and they’ll still taste just as delicious as they normally do). Or, my favorite, you can take your cookie sheet into the garden and let your kids distribute it and let nature reclaim it. They can watch the wind blow it through the yard, leave it for the faeries, and just have fun with it! Some of our favorite times to create mandalas: Earth day as a way to bless the earth. To celebrate the seasons or a holiday To create healing energy Just a fun and beautiful activity with your kids Use it to talk about your beliefs Other things you can use: Use herbs and flower petals, crush or grind them for the colors Sand Even marbles or legos Your imagination is the limit! Enjoy, T.S P.S. Designs to follow! |
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July 2015
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