Can you believe it? Litha is almost here. The year is nearly halfway over already. As usual, our family will be taking things easy for this holiday, but our day will be filled with fun, food, and family. I've compiled some ideas for us this year and wanted to share them with you: Why not add some fairy wonder to your garden? You can find the instructions for these adorable fairy doors here. Incorporate delicious seasonal vegetables into your meal. Recipe here. Bring even more seasonal decadence to the table with this amazing Fruit Salad recipe. Let your bare feet connect with the earth while you create some Dandelion Garlands. And these... these just look delicious!
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This is my son's first year in a public school. For the last 3 years he has been in a Montessori school that we adored. But, alas, they only went up to a specific grade, so I was forced to look for other options. I chose his school carefully, I researched, I called, I toured, I crunched numbers. It was exhausting, but I wanted to make sure that I made the correct choice. In the end, mostly fueled by a lack of funds, my choices became private Catholic school or public school. I had really considered Catholic school for a while, but decided against it, because I had so many battles to fight at home, I didn't want religion to become one. (Mind you, I have no experience of parochial schools save for my 3 years of experience in a Lutheran school as a child.) We started off just fine this school year with some minor adjustments due to the switch from Montessori to traditional school. But religion never came up, at least, not in relation to his new school. And then one day, right around Easter, two things happened. First, in our weekly newsletter was a note telling parents that, this week, the children would be learning about Easter. Say what? In a public school, my child was going to be taught about Easter? What about teaching them about Ostara as well? What about other spring rites and rituals? Where's the equality in that? I discussed it with my partner and with some friends and decided that they were probably just going to talk about bunny rabbits and spring. I would just ask my child what he was learning and try and keep up while making sure what he was learning remained secular. I would let this go for now and see where it went. It seemed fine and the Easter coloring pages (bunnies and chicks) were minimal. About a month later, I was cleaning out my son's backpack (because when I don't do so on a regular basis things happen - things like two month old bananas - talk about gross...) and I found a little blue cross with white polka-dots in his backpack. It appeared to be a decorative cupcake pick. So, I went into his room, where he was playing, and asked him, "Sweetie, where did this come from?" and he replied, "From Carrie's* birthday." "Oh." I replied. He seemed un-phased, which I expected. We'd spoken about the symbol of the cross before. He often refers to it as "the Jesus sign" or "the heaven symbol." I left his room and commenced freak-out mode. I mean, wow! Wow! Now, what if I had brought in a tray of cupcakes with decorative pentacle picks or goddess shaped picks? How would that have gone over? How could the teacher allow this? Fortunately, it was about 6:00 p.m., and since storming the school in protest of a cupcake pick after school hours would probably be frowned upon by law enforcement, I stayed home and calmed down. It got me really thinking about things. Firstly, I'm sure Carrie's mother meant no harm. After all, many of us tend to assume that others are like us and share our thoughts and beliefs. (No? Is it just me?) To her, they were probably just seasonal cupcakes. To her, they were probably just tradition. Though there are people out there would attempt to encourage children to study or ask about Christianity for a reward, she, most likely, isn't one of them. At least, I'm going to assume she isn't until she proves otherwise. Why? Because I like to see the best in people. Secondly, I need to think about where my feelings are coming from. This cupcake pick is a symbol to me. It's a symbol of the culture that we live in that is dominated by a faith that is not only (typically) opposed to mine, but that I feel has oppressed me, as a woman and as a Pagan. To me it feels suffocating and limiting. But that is not what my son sees in this cupcake pick. He sees... a cupcake pick, just another sparkly item to throw in his collection of "stuff." To him, this pick is as innocent as it was most likely meant to be. He sees a "Jesus" or "Heaven" symbol, plain and simple. Right now, at his age, he probably sees these types of things like he sees car manufacturer logos, they just are. They're labels and nothing more. The world is so simple to him right now. I had to remind myself to keep my own prejudices to myself and not impose them on my child, even if my feelings are based on experience. I need to allow my child to see the beauty in faith and allow him to know that he is truly allowed to choose his own religion. Because, really, if I treat this symbol with disdain or make a huge deal about it, how will he know that I will support him if he decides to choose a Christian path? Of course, I will teach him all there is to know about my path, but in the end, it is his choice and he is my son and I will love him no matter what. I never want him to be afraid to tell me about his decisions. Additionally, I want to make sure that he respects and loves people. I would hate to instill a feeling of resentment towards any group of people. Especially if that feeling of resentment is based on my experiences and not his own. This does not mean, however, that I shouldn't expose him to the harsh realities that exist for those who follow a path less taken. Nor does it mean that I shouldn't fight for more equality, not only in the school, but in the world. But not right now. Not over a blue cupcake pick. There are other times and other ways. Maybe, if it becomes an issue, I can pull his teacher aside and have a discussion. But for now, I think I will let it be. What kind of similar situations have you faced? How did you handle them? *I've changed the classmate's name, to protect her identity. My son has a new found interest in my beliefs since Beltane, which is wonderful and exciting! I’m absolutely thrilled. For a while there, I was feeling a bit like a fraud, writing about sharing beliefs with children, while my own child couldn’t care less! I suppose that it's true, even though they seem as if they aren't listening, they're still picking up the information we're putting out there. This past week he had a whole slew of questions about the Goddess and the God, why we honor them, and how. As I teach him, I find that I am learning so much. I pulled out what I have deemed my “Witchy Box”, full of herbs, candles, crystals, totems, etc., and started showing him some of the items that I use to represent different aspects of deity. Here is how our conversation went: “Mom, can we light a candle for the Goddess and the God.” Um, YES! (Inside I was more than a little excited that he had suggested this on his own, but of course, I played it cool.) “Absolutely, Sweetheart! Let me see if I can find one.” I pulled out a candle specific to the Horned God, which I found fitting for the time of year. And I kept digging. (I may or may not have a bit of a candle collecting problem…) I was digging, in vain, for a silver candle to represent the Goddess, because, well, tradition. “Mom, are you looking for a Goddess candle?” “Yes, honey, I’m looking for a silver candle. That is the color we use to represent the Goddess.” “Well, how about an orange candle? I think we should use orange.” He pointed his little finger at an orange chime candle that may or may not have been sitting amongst a ridiculous amount of various colored chime candles. “No, Sweetie, we use-” and I looked at his little face and thought, Well why not? Why can’t we use orange? If he is really feeling like orange is right for this, then it is! Intent and intuition over ritual. I used to truly believe and practice that. When did I become so overly ritualistic that I would squash my own son’s intent and intuition? I am such a huge believer of just using what you have, making do, and that the intent and energy you put into any ritual, spell, or prayer will overpower any “wrong” colored candle or "inferior" ingredient substitution. So, we lit the Horned God candle and the orange candle and sat in the glow of the flickering flame, cuddling, and letting all the energy and love wash over us. My little witchlet looked up and smiled at me. It was perfect. Exactly how it should be, orange Goddess candle and all. What have you learned from your little ones lately? Blessings, Rowan
So, I took my child to church last Saturday.
One of my dearest friends has a son who attends a Catholic school, and last Saturday, he had his First Communion. They graciously invited us to the Mass and the lunch afterwards and we accepted. My son has been to the church once before, with his friend, and he had attended a Lutheran service with his grandma. So a Christian church wasn’t unfamiliar to him. But, I still expected him to be bored and antsy. I expected to have to answer a ton of questions that I didn’t know the answers to or didn’t know how to answer at this time. I also expected to have an argument with him on the way home when he wanted to do what his friend was doing and how he wanted to be Catholic because they got to do all of this stuff. I was mistaken. The questions did come, but I was well equipped to answer them. With my Lutheran background, I was able to explain a lot of the items and images he saw around the church. We talked about Noah’s Ark, stained glass windows, angels, incense, altars, and Mother Mary. It was a great little talk. I explained to him that we use some of the same things (candles and incense) and how some feel that Mother Mary is another face of the Goddess. Then the service began. Of course, my little man wanted to participate. He wanted to kneel when everyone knelt (ain’t no leg workout like a Catholic mass! My poor knees and quads!), he insisted on having the Hymn book open and attempting to following along. He watched his friend receive his First Communion and then wanted to get in the line to receive a blessing from the Priest. We walked up together. After the service, he had so many questions about how my beliefs are different from Catholic beliefs. It was a really great learning opportunity for him. I truly want him to choose his own path and, really, this exposure will make that decision, when it comes, and informed and enlightened one. We went to my Circle’s Beltane ritual later that evening. He spent his usual time running around with the other witchlets, enjoying the gorgeous day! He was also quite curious about the altar, and asked a lot of questions. Now, you see, my son doesn’t usually give a flying hoot why we’re at his Auntie’s house, he’s just happy to be with his friends. I always ask him if he would like to participate in the ritual, he always says “no.” This time was different. He stood in our circle, he helped me, when it was my turn to assist in calling the Quarters. He took part in cakes and ale, even repeating in his little voice “may you never hunger” and “may you never thirst.” He helped to anoint the Maypole and then danced around it with so much enthusiasm! It was so exciting for me to see him participating to so fully and paying such close attention. I don’t know if he was inspired by seeing his friend participate in a Catholic ritual, maybe he’s just getting older and becoming more interested, or maybe he was inspired by Mama’s book (he has recently pulled out “What are the Elements” and has been studying it intensely and asking many, many questions). Either way, I’m so pleased that he is learning this and that he feels comfortable asking me questions. I don’t regret taking him to the Catholic mass, it was a great way to expose him to something new, while I was there to support him and answer his questions. I’m often afraid to expose him to religions that I don’t agree with and don’t believe in. And when I think about that fear, I can’t even tell you what it is that I am actually afraid of. I need to be less afraid and let him explore the world. I will raise him to be smart enough to question any religion and choose which one sings to his soul. (Though, really, I kind of hope it’s mine.) Blessings, Rowan
I have to admit that I was a little stuck when attempting to think of how to share a ritual with you for Beltane.
This is a ritual that I typically leave in the hands of the very capable High Priestess of the Circle I belong to. I will attend the ritual, while my child runs around with the other witchlets in her backyard. This year, as I started to think about this post, I sat down and tried to figure out why. “Why don’t we celebrate together, as we do for most other sabbats?” I asked myself some questions:
I’m embarrassed, because here I sit, trying to help everyone else observe the day with their children, I haven’t done it regularly. I’m not ashamed, because, I think it’s O.K., I think that there is nothing wrong with not “doing it up” every year. While I want my child to know that having a spiritual practice is important, I would rather stress the every day, rather than only the “big holidays”. We bring spirituality into our daily lives through cleaning rituals, bedtime rituals, and many other small talks and meditations. However, this year we will be celebrating with our family at home, in addition to with our Circle. I’ve come up with the following ritual just for the occasion, and I’d like to share it with you. As always, fill it in with your family’s traditions and beliefs. Have fun with it and make it yours.
Beltane Ritual for Families
*Note: This ritual does call for the use of fire. Please use caution and always make sure that children are supervised around fire. Supplies
Purpose This ritual is to celebrate Beltane, a celebration of life, love, passion, and fertility*. I typically see Beltane as a huge celebration of love, so I have focused mostly on love. Expressly, love of life, love for each other, and love of activity. Set-up Take some time before the ritual to give your family a brief explanation of what Beltane means to you. If you’d like to go around the table and talk about this, go ahead and do that now. This is also a good time to acknowledge the representation or the history of the fire. I like to make sure that explanations happen before the ritual begins, so that everyone can ask questions, there can be discussions, and everyone understands what they are participating in.
Ritual Begin the ritual as your tradition, energy level, and children’s attention spans allow. Love of life - Speaker: Beltane, among other things, is a celebration of the fire of life. *go around the table and dish everyone up with a bite of their favorite food.” Food is one of the pleasures of life. Take a bite of your favorite food and think about how amazing it is to be alive to enjoy this wonderful food. When you’re done, take a deep breath, feel the fresh air fill your lungs, and think about how amazing it is to be alive to enjoy breathing this fresh air. Love for each other - Speaker: Beltane is also a celebration of love. Let’s all hold hands, close our eyes, and think about how much love we have as a family. Take time to think about each member of our family and what you love about them. Once you’ve thought about everyone, send that love to each family member, and then out into the world. Passion for activities- Speaker: Beltane is also a celebration of passion. We all have passion for different things. At your place is a representation of what you’re passionate about. Take a moment to think about how you feel about the item at your place. *start with the person at your right, and give everyone a moment to talk about their passion*. Speaker: *thank everyone for sharing* and close the ritual according your tradition and beliefs. Then eat the delicious meal and dance to the happy music. The dancing is very important. :) *In this ritual, when we talk about fertility, we are focusing on the creation of ideas and the fertility of the mind. I hope you enjoy celebrating Beltane with your family. Bright Blessings, Rowan
"Send healing, please!"
That phrase. It calls out to me whenever I see it. “Help me”, it says. With the advent of social media, especially Facebook, allowing us to reach out and connect with more people, that phrase becomes even more of a beacon. “If you could send healing energy...” “Could you pray for so and so...” These requests always make my heart burst. This seems such an easy task.... but how? Is there a proper way to do this? Energy, prayer,spells? These are all very intangible things. After all, in many cases I haven’t met the person, or their family. Often I don’t even truly understand what the illness or situation is and this brings me to the question of this article... What can I actually do? Here are some things I’ve been trying. Since I am not a very formal ritual person, I have a lot of ‘conversations’ when I do things. 1. I get a request over facebook, email or other social media that someone is sick or in for tests or simply having a terrible day. If I know the person, I close my eyes and picture them. I remember them looking great and laughing. I then talk to them. “I am sending you energy for health, patience to help you through this painful time....etc” I try to call out as much information as I can to target my thoughts towards that. I figure the more I can focus my thoughts maybe the more of my energy is received by the person. 2. If I don’t know the person: I will close my eyes and think of my children. I picture them playing and happy and joyful. This creates in me an overwhelming feeling of love and peace it helps me to center and connect to what I want to send. I then repeat the name of the person who needs help and I picture creating a column of energy and joy and connecting that column to their name, perhaps visualizing creating their name out of that energy. I also try to include their family in the healing energy by sending out some extra thoughts to them too. 3. Many folks will set out a small altar with something to represent each element (small bowl of water, rock for earth, incense for air and for fire, a candle. When doing a healing ritual, it is believed that burning a red or yellow candle and concentrating on the flame will help you to send healing energy to those who need it. Though a white candle will work too as it represents the whole person. Truthfully, I use whatever candle I have available. Because let’s face it, if this is an impromptu request, I am likely to forget or not get around to it if I can’t do it with what I have available. 4. We perform the “Ribbon Ritual” It is the most fun and joyous as well as being closer to a traditional ritual for me. I’ve included the ritual below, so you can give it a try with your family. What is your favorite way to send energy and healing to someone? How do you explain to your children what you are doing? Are they involved and helping you?
Ribbon Ritual
This ritual is one of my favorites for: • healing requests • cleansing my home • embracing a stressful time of life • even good as an any day thankful ritual Supplies: A representation of each element (I use these, but pick whatever means something to you or better yet, let your children choose, they are wonderfully intuitive creatures and may connect to something you never thought of) - Representation of Fire: candle or dragon figure or if inside we light our fireplace* -Representation of Water: bowl of water or small watering can -Representation of Earth: rock -Representation of Air: feather or flying dinosaur figure *Note: please remember that if using flames in this ritual make sure they are safely to the side and out of the ribbons way as there will be lots of swirling and twirling and it will defeat the healing purpose if there is a fire. -Long length of ribbon, or scarves or cloth for each participant. -Table for everything to be placed on. -If the ritual is for healing of someone and you can have a photo or something that helps you think of them, that is a great thing to put on your altar. Alternatively, write their name on a piece of paper Instructions: Begin by calling the elements and creating the circle, or however suits your tradition. This is our wording, feel free to create your own depending on your needs and feel free to change the element/directional representations as best fits your beliefs or intuition: We sit in a circle (very duck duck goose like) (pick up the rock walk around the circle behind everyone). Individual: Welcome North, our foundation, please give us solid footing to dance upon today. All: Welcome North (pick up the feather or dinosaur and walk around the circle behind everyone ). Individual: Welcome East, our breath, please bring playfulness to help us create. All:Welcome East (pick up the dragon figure and walk around the circle behind everyone - If using a candle or fireplace, have the person walk and wave their fingers like a candle flame). Individual: Welcome South, our energy, please give us lots of energy that our dance may go longer. All: Welcome South (pick up the small water bowl and walk around the circle behind everyone - (If a child they can make wave motions with their hands instead of carrying the water bowl). Individual: Welcome West, our movement, please let us move with our thoughts and embrace change. All: Welcome West Have person in charge of ribbons now hand out a ribbon to each participant, talk about what your are hoping to do: Today we are using these ribbons to dance. As we dance we are raising energy for the health and healing of “name”. Unfurl the ribbon and dance to your hearts content, think of joy and health (note: as this ritual centers around the people don’t worry about staying within your circle confines). Dance until you fall over are out of breath or the giggling gets out of control. Return to your circle (pile the ribbons in the center) and release the elements. (pick up the small water bowl and walk around the circle behind everyone - If a child they can make wave motions with their hands instead of carrying the water bowl). Individual: Thank you West, our movement now done, go with our blessing and our thanks. All: Thank you West (pick up the dragon figure and walk around the circle behind everyone ). (If using a candle or fireplace, have the person walk and wave their fingers like a candle flame) Individual: Thank you South, our energy now spent, go with our blessing and our thanks All: Thank you South (pick up the feather or dinosaur and walk around the circle behind everyone ). Individual: Thank you East, our breath now ragged, go with our blessing and our thanks All: Thank you East (pick up the rock walk around the circle behind everyone). Individual: Thank you North, our foundation now silent, go with our blessing and our thanks All: Thank you North Go and enjoy, T.S. Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts and Spiral Scouts Oh my! “Hey mom, can I join Boy Scouts?” This was a day I had dreaded. I’d heard about the Boy Scouts. After all, I grew up with two brothers who were both in boy scouts for a number of years. I had friends whose sons were in boy scouts and it always seemed like a great idea. But then there were those rumors and the discrimination overtones and frankly it frightened me off. Would my little boy join only to be kicked out because he was not Christian? Turns out there are LOTS of pagan kids who are members of the Boy Scouts - the key seems to be in the leaders. The kids who I know are in, well their parents are running it. Or as my friend Matt says, “We are correcting the issue one pack at a time. Our pack welcomes everyone.” And that seems true of most of them. Well, my son hasn’t joined because: 1. We haven’t found a good group around here, though he has gone and participated with some events with his friends. 2. Because it's not just religious intolerance but also social intolerance. However, some things to remember: adults and parents are looking at boy scouts differently than the boys are. We see the overall portrait of the Boy Scouts, the big picture. But we sometimes miss what it teaches on a small scale. Friendship, survival, independence. So much like so many other things in this world, the Boy Scouts comes down to a choice. Let your son try it out, interview the different troops. Trust yourself as a parent and that you have raised your child to have good values. Also remember that many boys choose not to stay in the troop more than a few years. Girl Scouts - this one I have significantly less issues with. My husband says “If your willing to sell cookies, Girl Scouts are willing to have you!” Well the real reason I don’t have an issue is this note attached to The Girl Scout Promise: “Girl Scouts of the USA makes no attempt to define or interpret the word 'God' in the Girl Scout Promise. It looks to individual members to establish for themselves the nature of their spiritual beliefs. When making the Girl Scout Promise. Individuals may substitute wording appropriate to their own spiritual beliefs for the word 'God'”. Also there doesn’t seem to be any purpose other than to teach girls independence and learning. There is also Spiral Scouts. This group is much less widely known and its often hard to find a group in your area. Myself and many other people have thought to start a group only to be stymied by how difficult it can be to find information or other interested people. So in the end, joining Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts has to be a decision that both you and your children are interested in. Remember that what your children will see and what you will take from it the experience will be different because of your ages and experience. And remember that you can always stop being part of the group. T.S. We’re moving. At this point, we aren’t quite sure where, but we’re definitely moving. Boxes are being packed, excess clutter is being donated, our things are being consolidated. It’s a very stressful time. Not only for the adults involved, who are combing through home listings, researching schools, calculating drive time from work and friends… but it’s also stressful for any children involved. I know that my child can sense our stress. He knows we’re moving, we’ve talked about it many times. I do my best to reassure him that things will be wonderful when we finally own a house of our own, but to him, this is a very scary change. And my poor kidlet has been through a lot of change in the past few years. One might say, “well, you should be used to it by now,” but that’s not really true, is it? We never truly get used to change. We might adapt to it, we might learn from it and become more resilient and flexible. But I wouldn’t say that we get “used to it”. It’s easy to forget, in these times that are stressful for parents, that our children might be stressed too. Oftentimes, my child tends to whine or lash out when he is feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Sometimes, on days when I become too overwhelmed myself, I forget that this behavior comes from a place of fear and stress and I get frustrated. Of course, this is absolutely counterproductive, so we have come up with a family transition ritual. As always, we make this ritual as elaborate or as simple as we feel. Family Ritual for Accepting and Welcoming Change
Supplies Rose Quartz for each family member Candle for each family member Amethyst for each family member Paper for each family member Crayons, pencils, or any writing utensil Parental supervision highly recommended. Before we begin , I explain to my family that the rose quartz represents our love for each other and that the amethyst, which can often be used for various types of protection, represents the protection that we, as a family, offer each other.
Bright Blessings, Rowan The topic for today’s post is a bit of an odd one, yet really important. This took me a whole lot longer to write then I thought it would. I hope I have put together a good read for you. “Why its important to share your beliefs with your children.” Confidence Security Closeness Understanding These are all great reasons, but the best one is that our beliefs are important to us and so are our children. Even better you’ve already done it. Children are always watching and observing. For me, my beliefs come out when I bake and entertain and when I point things out as we bike ride or hike. Now lets talk about these four ideas I mentioned earlier: CONFIDENCE: I believe that my children are more confident in themselves and how they deal with others because they see their father and I demonstrating our beliefs. For instance, my kids LOVE going to church with their grandma. She’s presbyterian and we aren’t. Sure they come home with questions and ideas, so we’ve made a little ritual of talking with them afterwards. (Could be hours or days) they ask their questions and we do our best to answer them or help them find their own answer. My son (who is now 10) has the confidence to have religious discussions with his friends and understand that they both have different beliefs. SECURITY: Lets face it this is the largest worry for most of us. (Especially if your in a hostile location) is our children’s safety and our own. Kids say things and sometimes its in a non friendly place. If we don’t teach our kids because of fear. Then we tie beliefs and religion to fear and teach them that ours is wrong. That doesn’t make it easier, in fact this is the hardest one to deal with. CLOSENESS: One of the basic things that brings us close to our family is participating in similar rituals or ideas. Setting the table for dinner, playing a game together, bedtime stories. Anything and everything that we do in the same space with each other helps us understand one another. That understanding will bring us closer together. That closeness will help us in those tough days and years when parents can’t understand just what their child is thinking. UNDERSTANDING: I hope that by starting my kids with my beliefs, helping them explore my parents and friends beliefs and their own curiosity; will make them stronger and more understanding when choosing their own. Even more, I hope that it helps then be more tolerant and understanding of others beliefs and that together this tolerance will build a stronger, kinder world for them. But mostly, I hope it helps us ALL get through those teen years with healthier views of what my kids are trying. That it also shows my kids that even though they might try something I don’t know about, I hope they will believe that I am willing to listen, give them benefit of the doubt and believe in them and their choices. T.S. I am writing this blog post, not on the first day of spring, but before it. But let me tell you, today is the perfect day to be writing this. My windows are open for the first time in months, the sun is filling my kitchen with light, I can smell the thawing of the earth. I’ve never been one to consider myself affected by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but this winter has been a rough one, on many levels, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that being shut indoors hasn’t affected me. I haven’t felt this relaxed, refreshed, and invigorated since fall. It’s been a long hibernation. The more you read my blog, the more you will find that I swing between possibly overly ritualistic and the extremely simple when it comes to celebrations and rituals. My mood and energy level are the determining factor. And, truly, I believe that is a really good way to go about it. This year, I’m feeling that we need to keep our family ritual short and sweet. We’ll celebrate Ostara in a larger ritual with my Circle as well later that day. Simple Family Ostara Ritual I promised you a simple ritual/celebration, and I will deliver! This activity can be made to be as elaborate or as laid back as you choose! Supplies Cookie Dough (of your choice, store bought or home made) Spring Cookie Cutters (optional) Cookie Decorations Oven **Parental Supervision is Recommended ** Instructions:
Sometimes, if I’m feeling really creative, we’ll look up photos online, typically using Pinterest, just to inspire us (and sometimes, to remind us what Spring looks like). Relax and enjoy the return of Spring! Bright Blessings, Rowan |
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July 2015
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