About a year ago, I received confirmation that I had successfully severed my connection to my ancestors. This means that Samhain looks a little different for me.
I’ve almost always struggled with Samhain. Before shutting out my ancestors, I had made a few attempts at reaching out or honoring my ancestors during Samhain. It always felt stilted and inauthentic. There was nothing I wanted from them and it was hard to honor them when I knew that they were just...not good people. Over the years, my Samhain practices have changed. First, it became a season rather than a day. And, instead of focusing on my ancestors, I focus on myself, my relationship with spirit, and honoring the past year. It’s a time that I renew my spiritual practice. I spent time reconnecting with the Goddess and reaching out to my guides. I evaluate where I am and how much the spiritual has taken a backseat in my life. Because it always does. My life is busy and full of the mundane. This year it was full of job searches, virtual schooling, virtual teaching, research and studies, etc. The spiritual was something that definitely fell through the cracks this year. And I believe that is normal and OK. Samhain is a reminder to return to that. It’s a reminder of cycles. After Mabon, I pull whichever spiritually focused books that call to me. This year it was Circle Within by Dianne Sylvan, The Spiral Dance by Starhawk, The Earth Path by Starhawk, and The Sevenfold Journey by Judith Anodea. I try to spend at least 30 minutes daily reading one of these books and weaving them into my daily life. I’ve read them before, but I always learn something new. I’ve brought meditation and yoga back into my daily life as well. I’ve completely recreated my altar space. Samhain is about cycles, it’s a time to begin turning inward again. My Samhain celebrations honor me, where I’ve been, and where I’m going. And that feels more right and authentic to me than ancestor work ever did. Blessed Samhain, Rowan
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July 2015
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